


In the Shadow of Your Heart

by warmspringrain



Category: The Worst Witch (TV 2017)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Post Bad Magic, Post Episode 3.07
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-30 17:37:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17833091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/warmspringrain/pseuds/warmspringrain
Summary: After the events of 3.07, Hecate is left alone with her thoughts. Ada helps to make sure she doesn't get stuck in them.





	In the Shadow of Your Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger Warning for a strong negativity spiral for the first half of the story. 
> 
> Title is from Cosmic Love by Florence and the Machine; credit for finding it as well as all beta work goes to cassiopeiasara. All mistakes at this point are definitely my own.

As if a simple potion could fix things.

 

As if there existed a potion she hadn’t already attempted.

 

Hecate tried everything to calm her racing heart, to find her cool and collected center, but it was no use. She was too angry, hadn’t been this angry in--

 

She was so wickedly angry.

 

She had to get away, but there was nowhere for her to go.  Ada…not yet, not now. Ada couldn’t see her like this, certainly not after the day they’d had.

 

She could have destroyed the school. _Again_. Hecate was a fool not to have seen it.

 

But Mildred was everything that Heca--no. Joy. Mildred was everything that Joy never was. Mildred made friends immediately, found a way to connect with people as if it was easy as breathing. Mildred didn’t _need_ more magical people in her life. How could she not see how lucky she already was? How could she not see that she already had everything that she could want?

 

How **_dare_ ** she ask for more.

 

But Joy had also dared, hadn’t she? Dared to think that she was above the rules, above her peers. That she could magic her way into getting the one thing she’d never managed.

 

And isn’t that what Mildred had done too? The one thing she’d never be able to fix.

 

Hecate envied her only having one.

 

And then to give…that damned potion. As if it were as trifle, an easy thing, bearing no thought or remorse or consideration. As if undoing a spell thirty years later would absolve everyone involved of their guilt. As if it would do any good now, for anyone.

 

What good would this world be to her old friend now?

 

Mildred had managed to bring her mother back, somehow.

 

Another thing Joy couldn’t manage.

 

She had never wanted so badly to get out. Leave. Fly away. Damn her, damn all of them, turn her to stone instead just get her out—

 

Knocking.

 

…someone had been knocking for some time.

 

Hecate knew who it was, knew what she’d say and she couldn’t. Not now, not tonight. She didn’t want to hear absolution or forgiveness. She deserved neither ( _you gave both easily to Mildred_ chided the voice inside her that never shut up). She’d transfer away, get away, she had to get away—

 

“Hecate, please.”

 

Hecate shut her eyes and clenched her fists. She could still go. It didn’t matter that she’d never refused a reasonable request before. Tonight wasn’t reasonable. Tonight of all nights she could just—

 

A sigh, followed by a “Very well then.”

 

Success. She’d done it, she’d won. So why did she feel worse somehow? Nevermind. She deserved to feel worse, deserved to be left alone—

 

There were no footsteps. No shifted air from a transference spell.

 

Hecate tried to resume her pacing, but her heart had gone out of it; she was too busy listening at the door, waiting to be left alone.

 

Not knowing, anymore, if that was what she wanted or not.

 

Finally, Hecate couldn’t stand it. She would just have to open the door to prove to herself that the other person was gone. Marching over, Hecate pulled the door open quickly, before she could change her mind.

 

And of course, there was no one there. She should have known, she was foolish to—

 

“Hello, Hecate.”

 

Hecate startled so hard it hurt. She looked down at Ada. Ada, who has settled herself on the floor just outside of Hecate’s room, who has left enough space that Hecate could still get around her and escape if she wanted to. Hecate was…she didn’t know anymore. It all just hurt. The only thing she could truly pinpoint was the pain that seemed to be everywhere at once.

 

She didn’t know how long she stood there, staring at Ada, trapped in her thoughts. Ada was calling her name softly when Hecate managed to come back to the moment.

 

Hecate shook her head so hard it rattled. “I can’t, now isn’t a good, please.” God, she hated being seen like this, sounding  pitiful, weak, and confused.

 

Ada’s expression remained calm. “I’m not going anywhere, Hecate.”

 

_You should_ , she thought. _You can. Go run wild, and be free_.

 

But it was a lie and Hecate knew it. Ada was no freer in this place than Hecate was. Neither chose this, but in that lack of choosing they chose each other.

 

Hecate hugged her arms around her waist. There was no more space for guilt with everything else going on in her head tonight. Clenching teeth and eyes shut, she tried to pull herself together. Enough for Ada, enough to be able to just have a five word conversation and be done with it.

 

“Oh, my darling. It’s all right. We’re safe, everyone is safe.”

 

Hecate couldn’t open her eyes just yet, couldn’t accept the things she was being told. She held herself tighter and gave the smallest shake of her head.

 

“Can I show you?” Hecate’s eyes finally opened, startled, another stab of guilt hitting her at Ada’s worried face. “Would that help?”

 

Ada waved a hand and the air shimmered before her. It showed an image of Mildred, tucked in bed and fast asleep. A small flick shifted the image to Ethel, then Beatrice, then Enid, all in the exact same state. Hecate watched desperately as Ada showed her every girl in the school, from the most spontaneous and troublesome firebrands to their mousiest first years. All asleep. All whole. All safe.

 

Hecate was trembling with relief and exhaustion by the time Ada finished. She swallowed, looking down at Ada, and whispered a soft “thank you” as she reached a hand out to help her up.

 

Ada lifted a hand to Hecate’s cheek. She allowed just enough space for Hecate to deliberately choose to press into the offered comfort. “You should get some rest as well,” she murmured, stroking gently with her thumb. “It’s been…quite a day.”

 

Hecate murmured her assent, grabbing Ada’s hand as she started to pull away. “Stay?” She hated how desperate she sounded, like a child afraid of the dark, but she knew she’ll never sleep if left alone.

 

Ada smiled, squeezing her hand in reassurance. “Always.”

 

As they crawled into bed together, Hecate thought of the number of times they’d done this. Held each other through the rough days, the student scares, the burns of failures. When she had chosen to stay, after her sentence was formally lifted, she expected it would be a long and lonely penance. She had thought that no one else would ever understand, would know how this castle was both haven and prison; would feel the urge to run away, far away, thrumming constantly under the safety and joy of diligence and duty.

 

But Ada did.

 

Ada, who tried so hard at first to free her. Who finally understood her reasons for staying and, while not always agreeing with them, accepted those reasons as Hecate’s choice. Ada, who had set aside her own dreams and fancies for the betterment of others, and—like Hecate—had found her true calling in doing so. Ada, who always tried to light the way, but if she could not, would walk with Hecate through the dark.

 

It wasn’t perfect. It was almost never easy. Tomorrow there would be new messes to struggle through, uncomfortable explanations to be given, and one third year’s earnest goodwill to avoid at all costs. But for tonight, she had this: the ability to set these things down for just a moment, and rest.

 

Hecate focused the last of her tired thoughts on her deep, steady breathing, the warm solid body behind her, and the arm around her chest. Between one quiet moment and the next, she finally drifted off to sleep.


End file.
